making space


there are a great many things i'd like to do with my life, and every day i add another to an already very long list.

eventually we all die, and i've always felt the clock ticking -- perhaps too loudly. so. i have finally stopped making excuses for my lagging progress on my novel and taken the (very great) step of going down to four days a week at work. it is only a small step, but it feels so magnanimous, like i am daring to ask the universe for exactly what i want (more time to write!).

tuesday was blissfully long and tiring, first writing all day at home, and then starting my new writers' workshop in brooklyn. the class isn't exactly what i thought it would be, but it is something new, and that's good enough for now. needless to say, adding in a couple of dance classes and yoga, plus my job, has left me quite exhausted this week, in a place of surrender that can be its own blessing.

but i am so grateful for this moment of transition. learning about the creative process and commitment is all that matters to me now.

i am quite certain that heeding the call to write -- or to create whatever art lies within you -- is one of the most challenging and instructive lessons in self acceptance. i might complain that i still don't know what i'm doing (and i don't), that i'm tired, that i'll never make it through the nine weeks of this workshop PLUS apply for a Fulbright, but i've chosen instead to accept it. the alternative would mean rejecting the only thing that gets me up in the morning.

i believe that if i create more space in my life to write, the universe will respond in kind. so i'm just going to keep making space and, hopefully, new blessings will fill it up.

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