my single greatest fear


Sometimes I feel like I keep having the same conversation with myself: to blog or not to blog. I have so many other things to do that I am always flirting with the idea of sealing this up like an ancient tomb, letting it preserve the thoughts and inspirations of the present in perpetuity.

I actually don't know who reads this thing or why they come to this page. It's interesting how few people really interact in a medium that's designed for this. And I don't understand this, in fact, am often frustrated by it. If there was something I could do to increase the level of interaction, I would, but I am not sure if people come here to passively participate in my life and times. (I detest passivity.)

There's also the chance that what I write here is vastly uninteresting to most people. I realize that I am but one of 6 billion, so I could be completely off track from the mainstream (or, perhaps, my efforts to deviate from the mainstream have been entirely too successful). But at heart I am a writer who writes for people, and I do like to think that my words resonate. My single greatest fear is that what I am doing is completely irrelevant, and that touches me deep in my core.

If you have a couple of minutes and would like to share why you are reading this right now, what it is that you come to Alligator Legs Blog for, if anything, I would certainly love to hear it. I certainly do enjoy blogging, but I can just as easily write for myself in my notebook if this is not useful to other people. (Again, I am not entirely sure the extent to which I am having this conversation with myself.)

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  1. i've been reading your blog(s) for a long time. your writing is very interesting and, more importantly, you have a very interesting point of view. the days of myspace was easier to follow, comment, judge, etc...that medium made things easier. and i have to admit, i keep forgetting to stop by alligator legs. speaking of...i need to go back and figure out that name, perhaps you explained it ;-)

  2. I honestly check your blog each day for new postings. I don't think I can articulately clearly why I find your blog inspirational. But it has been very enlightening to read about your creative life: how you approach writing; what you write; your involvement in the art community. It provides valuable insights for a young struggling "writer" such as myself. And more than anything else, I enjoy your writing, and I'm slightly envious of how well you write, and the seeming ease you bring to it. Thank you.

  3. i read regularly and very much enjoy the perspective you share, your honesty, and your wonderful writing style. keep going. your words DO resonate! i also share your fear but i hope you keep going back to the heart of why you write, because you are touching people with your words.

  4. The blogging world can be such a fickle one complete with cliquishness in some genres but there is the possibility of finding camaraderie.

    In the end, I think you have to 'enjoy' what you're writing even if no one else seems to be paying attention.

    It's definitely cool, though, when you can find a few like-minded individuals to banter with.

  5. @Wale: Yes. It has been years, hasn't it? Thanks for checking in not a moment too soon. You know you can follow me any way you like...Google, Twitter, Facebook...I'm on it. :) FYI, AL is the name of my novel.
    @Nneoma: I appreciate your feedback. This is what I was hoping to use the blog for. I suppose I am never sure what's hitting home.
    @kiacharon: Thank you for encouragement! I think it's always important to ask why we do, even if we do so often. I might just be outgrowing this thing and need to focus on my noveling and come back refreshed. Until then, more to come!
    @'Drea: I definitely enjoy my writing, but think I separate my blogging from my writing. It is only of late that I have tried to conflate the two and employ some of my writing style more directly in my blogging. It is also decidedly obvious to me that the more I blog, the less time I spend writing! :)

  6. Yeah I get where you're coming from. I think it's more platform problem - I also livejournal and dreamwidth blogs and get far more interaction there than I do from blogger. For some reason it's just a bit easier.

    Anyway, I'm really glad I found this blog - thanks for following my comic btw! Hopefully there'll be some more independent stuff come summer - because you're into the same sort of things I am and you write so beautifully about them. It'd be arrogant of me to say 'don't stop!' but I do look forward to reading more from you all the same!

  7. It's always refreshing reading what you write. And frankly, I check on here everyday to read the new issue(s) you've written on. I guess the fact I check in here everyday looking for something new (because you're one of the very few bloggers I know that frequently posts updates on their blogs) should tell you how important your blog is to some of us. I do not always leave comments, but I comment whenever I can. Please, do not think you're blogging away and no one reads them. I do. And I'm sure many more people than you think also do. What I'll say to my fellow readers is to try and leave comments more often- even if just to day "good read". Hopefully, those comments will encourage you to continue writing as beautifully as you do.

    Good work, Alligator Legs :-)

  8. @laBiscuitnapper @Nanasei: Thanks for the encouragement! At least I know I am not talking to myself. :) I do also wish other bloggers I enjoy would post more often. That said, I do understand it requires effort and inspiration, things that may not always be in ample supply. I may well still need a creative break from this thing, but perhaps at a later date.

  9. alligator legs fan checking in....

  10. LOL, nne! Just posted a new blog. ENJOY. :)

  11. Im reading because you reached out to me.And now I know who you are, kinda. I think the key to successful blogging or any creative pursuit (for me illustration/murals) is consistency and letting your fam, friends, and aquaintences know what you do. I think what happends after paying much dues is that people relate an idea, practice, or art with you , a person. Not only that, they see and respect how long you've been putting in work...Light

  12. I found your blog yesterday, and it was your username that caught my attention, "Alligator Legs." I like your blog because it's very personal. I am a writer myself, so I love it when writers share their experiences to the world.


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